


Where do I find happiness?

by delicatesalad



Category: Undertale, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Burgers - Freeform, Depression, F/F, F/M, Feels?, Flashbacks, Goat Mom Is Best Mom, Goat mom, Pie, Souls, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Things will get better, blue blushes, depressed reader, failed suicide, falling, golden angels, hannah is the reader's older sister, hoodies!!!, ketchup, matching necklaces, still alive in the underground, suicide note, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:55:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7529947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicatesalad/pseuds/delicatesalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(y/n) leaves a note for their older sister when they come back from college for a visit. It's a suicide note. They can't stand the beatings any longer so they are going to take their own life on Mt Ebott.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Note

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!!  
> The beginning of this fanfic is a suicide note. It talks about what the reader went through and the reasons why they are committing suicide. The note also gives a bit of back ground on the readers history. If you feel you can't read it because of personal reasons or something else, please skip this chapter! I don't want any of my readers feeling uncomfortable for any reasons. I won't be offended at all if you do skip it, because I won't know if you do! Anyway if you are reading it, please do enjoy!
> 
> (y/n)= (your name)

Dear Hannah,

 

I know this was the weekend that you came home from college for a visit. You’ll probably hate me after reading this, but hear me out, I miss you, I really do, I wish I could see you before I did this, but the beatings… I can’t stand it any longer. The continuous beatings from everyone, everyday. Please don’t think that this is your fault for going to college. It’s not your fault Hannah, you did nothing wrong. In fact I am happy that you went to college so you could escape the pain. I don’t want you thinking you did something remotely wrong, because you were the only one who actually did something right. Hannah, you were my only true friend I have ever had. My “friends” that you saw me with, were jerks to me. They beat me with anything they could find including their words. Making fun of the way I look and calling me horrible things because of how smart I am. They continuously harassed me everyday. This the first and last I ever said about it. Now that I am gone it won’t matter much will it? Heh. But what my friends did was nothing compared to what Dad did. You know how he acted after mom’s death coming home drunk and lashing out at us. The beatings he gave the both us back then are nothing compared to what I get now. Ever since you left for college… He’s been coming back even more violent than before. Bruises cover my entire body night after night. Depression began to overwhelm me with both my friends and father beating and abusing me I had to find a way to get through it. After a while I did find this way, and it was cutting. Cutting helped me push away all of the pain that they have given me. This may also explain the reason why I started wearing long sleeves all the times and refused to go swimming. 

 

This note is the note I leave for you, once I am gone it won’t matter if everybody knows or not, so it is your decision to tell anybody, if anyone. Honestly I don’t think anybody will care if you tell them. You will be getting home tonight at about seven. Like I said before, I will be gone, I guess by this note you probably can tell why. Suicide. I’m sorry I didn’t say it until now but I bet you could figure out why this note was here. I tried doing everything to avoid it but it couldn’t be put off any longer. As these are my last words I guess this also makes it my will. In that case you get everything that I owned, hopefully you’ll find something good to do with it. Screw everybody else, all they get is a “fuck you”. They are the reason I am doing this so… I will have left the house an hour before you will arrive to start making my way to Mt. Ebott. It’s a long journey to the top, so it will take a while to get there. Do you remember when we were little and used to play at the base of the mountain? Back then when mom would make us flower crowns and staffs, and proclaim us the rulers of the mountain. Back then when it seemed like nothing would ever hurt us in a million years? It’s so easy for thing to change… Do you also remember the cave mom told us to never to go near because children go missing there? Well I am no child, but I am going to go missing there. Please stay where you are, don't come any closer, don't try to change my mind because you can’t I’ll already be gone. 

 

Never once while you were gone did I take off the matching necklaces mom gave us. The golden angel meant too much to me ever take it off. Even now, I am still wearing it and I will wear it all the way through death. I hope you are still wearing yours, knowing you I think you are but I can never be too sure. 

 

Without you texting/calling me daily, I probably would have done this sooner. Hannah you were the only thing that kept me going this long. Please don’t hate me for any of this. Trust me it is for the best. Thank you Hannah for being the best big sister and best friend I could ever ask for.I love you Hannah, never forget that. I’m just doing this because I can’t stand it any longer. Please don’t hate me after I do this, please forgive me. I love you. As part of my will, please don’t come after me, escape from Dad and never come back. Stay at your college, because your friends there will keep you safe. 

 

Goodbye Hannah, I love you.

 

\- (y/n)


	2. The fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) takes their last moments before falling into the hole...  
> You guys know whats coming next don't you?(✿◠‿◠) Or at least have an idea....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! You! Yeah You!  
> Your reading the next chapter! I didn't think you would do that! Thanks for that, I hope you're liking it so far! This Chapter is longer than the last one and might cause more feels too. Also this chapter does have dark parts, please skip them if it makes you uncomfortable. I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable reading this story.  
> By the way I am trying to keep the reader gender neutral.
> 
> (Y/n)=(your name)  
> (F/c)=(favorite color)

Reader’s POV-

 

My hands stuffed into my hoodie pocket and toes hung over the edge of the hole in the cave. The light from the sunset crept into the cave and hit the back of my (f/c) hoodie creating a shadow in front of me. I turned my head and took one last look at the sun through the mouth of the cave. When I was younger, my mom, Hannah and I would sit on the porch of the house and watch the sunset together. Watch the beautiful orange surrounding the sun and fading out into other colors as it went on. We would sit together and watch the sun disappear under the horizon. Then we would go inside and eat the meal that was prepared for us. After all four of us finished dinner, Mom and Dad would take us outside to look at the stars that had come out into the sky. This was Hannah’s favorite part… Hannah.. She would be arriving home to an empty house soon. Well not completely empty, the note is there, which really isn’t the best greeting but it will get her away from our violent father. I turned my gaze back to the hole before me. Tears fell from my eyes at the thought of Hannah reading the note. I prayed that I wouldn’t die having Hannah hate me. Thoughts crossed my mind but one really stood out, could I really leave her alone in this violent world? I shook my head she wouldn’t be alone. Hannah has great friends like Grace and all of her other college friends, who would take care of her. Unlike my friends, they would take care of her and make sure she is safe from my father’s abuse. When we helped move Hannah’s stuff into her dorm I got to meet her roommate and friends she was going to college with. They are incredibly nice people, my sister has great taste in friends.

Well this is it. This is where my story ends. And what a pitiful story it was too. Closing my eyes and I pulled my hands out of my pocket. I raised my arms until they made a line, thus making the letter t with my body. 

“I’m sorry Hannah, I just can’t do this anymore. Please forgive me for this,” I whispered tears sliding down my cheeks. I took a breath and closed my eyes.

Taking a step forward, I fell. 

I fell into the welcoming darkness.

Memories of the best times I spent with my family came to me. Times with Mom, Hannah and Dad. Then not so fond of memories came as well.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback 1 Begins

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I blinking, opened my eyes to find that we had arrived at the beach. My blue and white towel was laid out on my lap. Huh, I guess I fell asleep on the drive here. Unbuckling myself from my seat, I turned around to see my mom spraying sunscreen on my older sister and my dad emptying the beach stuff out of the car. Both of them smiling and chatting with each other. Opening the car door I walked around to the back of the car to get sprayed with sunscreen, like we always do when we visit the beach. My flip-flops made that weird noise that only flip-flops can do while you are walking. Mom sprayed me down with sunscreen, I appreciated that, so I wouldn’t burn, I appreciated that even more. I kicked off my flip-flops and handed them to my mom so I didn’t have to worry about them. 

“Come on (y/n)! I’ll race you to the water,” a smiling face said. Hannah.

I lined up with Hannah in the sand. Warmth spread through my toes and up through my body. 

“Three,” she started.

“Two,” I replied. Our heads turned to look at each other and we smiled.

“ONE!” We cried out in unison. Hannah being older and bigger than me makes people think that she is faster than me, but what they don’t know is that I train myself everyday. Each day I run to beat my time on yesterday's run. 

Sand kicking up in the air we sprinted to the water. I was ahead of Hannah by a little less than a foot. She had gotten faster that’s one thing. The water grew closer with every step I took in the sand until my feet finally hit the edge of the water.

“Ha,” I panted and turned to face Hannah. “I. Beat. You.” 

“Yeah. You. Sure did,” she panted back. A sly smile started to crawl across her face.

“Hannah, what is that look fo-,” I couldn’t finish my sentence before being shoved under the water. 

When I resurfaced Hannah was laughing uncontrollably. It was my turn to get back at her. I shoved Hannah into the water and started splashing her which in turn led to an all out splash war. 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback Ends 1  
Flashback 2 Begins

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everybody was speaking in hushed voices in the living room, as the rain hit the roof of our house. I sat at the top of the stairs watching, I really didn’t feel like talking to anybody right now. Sadness hung in the room as people dressed in black walked around our house. I knew all of these people, they were my family and my mom’s friends, but ever since the accident they all seem like strangers. Ever since the day that the crash happened. Mom was driving home from a late shift at work, when the drunk driver hit her. I placed my head in my hands as my eyes welled up with tears. His light was red! What was he thinking?! Now because of him, my mother is gone and she is never coming back.

She is never coming back.

Tears slid out of my eyes and fell down my cheek. I cried silently at the top of the stairs, until I felt a hand on my back and someone sitting down besides me. Pulling my head out of my hands just enough to see it was Hannah in her black dress. I didn’t have to say anything for her to know what I was thinking, she has a way of reading people. Hannah pulled me into a hug, her arms wrapping around my shoulders and bringing me closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in the same way she did mine. She was the only one who really understood what I was going through with losing mom because she was going through it herself. But then there were things she didn’t understand and I just couldn’t tell her. Hannah rested her head on my shoulder and I did the same with her. We held each other at the top of the stairs in a comforting hug as the strangers in black walked around our house.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback 2 Ends  
Flashback 3 Begins

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally, after years of beatings from my father, the day came where Hannah wouldn’t have to stand it anymore. Today was the day we moved her stuff into her dorm. Dad couldn’t help, because he had to go to work and thank goodness for that. Getting out of the front seat of Hannah’s car, I walked around to the back to grab a box. Hannah was already back there grabbing boxes to carry in. I got my box and followed her to her new dorm. It looked really nice and it seemed like her roommate was already moved in because of the bed made on the other side of the room. Hannah set her things on the empty bed and I followed suit. We spent another fifteen minutes moving the boxes from the car into her dorm room. 

Hannah asked if I wanted to help set up her stuff, eager to stay with her longer I said yes. I opened a box and started removing its contents and placing them on the bed. Holding things up I asked where she wanted them to go, and put them there. I was enjoying spending time with my older sister before she had to take me back home. Box after box, we placed Hannah’s items on her half of the room until there were no boxes left. Her roommate walked in while we gathered the empty boxes. The roommate introduced herself as Grace to Hannah and I, Grace seemed really nice. Hannah and Grace chatted while I made sure I had everything, including the empty boxes, Dad would want those back. After a while Hannah told Grace she’d be back she just need to take me home. Both Hannah and I winced at the word home, knowing what truly lied behind it.

When we arrived home, I gave my older sister a hug before getting out of the car. I knew it would be a while before I saw her again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback 3 Ends  
Flashback 4 Begins

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You filthy child,” my dad growled before smacking my cheek. “You were a mistake. You were NEVER meant to happen.” He smacked me again, but harder this time.

Dad’s breath reeked of alcohol every time he opened it to say something. The beatings he was giving became more consistent everyday. He was also drinking everyday now, when ever he got the chance he would grab a beer and drink it.

I stood still in fear, in front of my father. Nobody should have to go through anything like this. My dad waved back and forth, drunk from all the beer he drank. Why me, why do I have to go through this, I thought before being shoved to the ground. Thankfully it wasn’t as hard of an impact as I thought it would be, my hoodie helped soften the impact. Tears ready to fall from my eyes, it still hurt though. 

Laying on my side, I brought my knees up into fetal position because I knew what was next. He brought his foot back and it met my backside in a painful kick.

“You. Worthless. Piece. Of. Shit.” He said each word with a kick to my back.

My dad grabbed my hood and pulled me up by it so I was looking eye to eye with him.

“You mean nothing to everyone,” he spat before throwing me to the ground by my hood.

He stumbled out of the room and into the kitchen. I got up off the floor, ran upstairs into the bathroom and locked the door. Opening a drawer, I took out my blades and set them on the counter. I made sure the toilet lid was down before I sat on it. Rolling up my sweatshirt sleeves and shirt sleeves, so I could cut my arm. Grabbing a blade I brought it to my skin and made line. There were tons of lines on my arms now, old scars and new cuts. Cutting helps me deal with everything wrong in my life, which was almost everything. I made a couple lines on both of my arms before hiding the blades again, and getting ready for bed.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback 4 Ends

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opening my eyes, I groaned and sat up, I looked around me. I was sitting in a bed of buttercups. I was still alive. Tears fell from my eyes. I really was a failure I can’t even kill myself right. The fall should have killed me. Why was I still alive? I stood up and shoved my hands into my hoodie pocket, then looked around trying to figure out where I was. Not being able to see anyone or anything besides the buttercups, I decided to look around. Well at least I’m away from my father and “friends”. I smiled at the thought. 

After walking for a couple yards a flower popped up. I jumped back. What the fuck? Why is this flower moved? What the- My thoughts were interrupted by the flower.

“Howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the Flower,” Flowey said. I was too shocked that a flower was talking to reply so it continued.

“Hmmm…. You’re new to the Underground, aren’t cha?” It continued.

Flowey went on to talk about explain how things worked in the underground. The flower told me about a heart that had appeared in front of me that was my soul. He told me about LV, which stands for love apparently. Flowey asked if I wanted some love, still too stunned to talk I nodded my head yes. He then he told me that love was shared through little white friendliness pellets. Telling to get as many as I could as he sent them towards me. I reached out and barely touched it before yanking my hand back. My health dropped.

“You idiot. In this world, it’s kill or BE killed,” he cried out with an ugly smile stretching across his face. His friendliness pellets surrounded him ready to fire.

“Then kill me,” I shouted back at him. Flowey looked shocked.

“Wait.. What?” He looked confused.

“I already failed at killing myself, just do it for me,” I cried out, falling to my knees, tears falling from my eyes.

Flowey looked at me strangely, before a fireball hit him scaring him away. A goat like creature stepped into view. They introduced themselves as Toriel, the caretaker of the ruins. She seemed like a nice person, but after what just happened with Flowey, I don’t know if I can trust her yet. She helped me to my feet and wiped away my tears. Toriel reminded me of my mom, which then allowed me to trust her. My mom would do the same thing when I was younger. When Toriel asked for my name I replied (y/n), she smiled and said that was a nice name. She told me she would guide me through the catacombs. I followed Toriel closely behind because I didn’t want to be there when Flowey appeared again. Toriel explained the puzzles to me and had me try a few on my own. When I completed them successfully, which was always on the first try, she clapped and praised me for my good work. She also explained monsters attacking, which I assume is what Flowey did. Toriel told me to strike up a friendly conversation while in a fight. She brought me over to a dummy and had me test my friendly conversation skills with it. There is no way I am going to fight anybody here, I have experienced too much of it myself and the least I can do is spare others from it.

After walking for a while we reached a building which I assumed was Toriel’s house. We walked inside and she started cooking a pie while I looked around the house. Once I finished looking at the rooms, I went to Toriel’s bookcase to see what books she had. Most of them where cookbooks or about snails, I smiled at this. Toriel had finished cooking the pie, so we sat down and ate it together. She told me about snails, the history of the underground, and how she always wanted to be a teacher once monsters reach the surface. It sucks for monsters, they have been locked down here for the longest time and just want out. I told Toriel that I would do whatever I could to free them from the Underground. She smiled at that. Then I told her I wanted to go exploring around the Underground tomorrow, she froze at that, her smile faded away and then came back when I told her I would come back. Did I say something? I didn’t mean to offend her if that’s what I did. Toriel agreed with me that I should explore, but I would need something to communicate with so she handed me a phone with her number in it. Later that night, I asked if it would be okay if I slept here and she said it was fine. Toriel got up and led me to the orange room I saw earlier, she told me this would be my room for as long as I wanted it. I thanked Toriel for the pie and room to stay in. Toriel told me it was no problem, and with that she left me alone in the room. I took off my (f/c) hoodie and hung it on a chair, and then climbed into bed. Laying down in bed, I welcomed sleep as an old friend.

This day had took an unexpected turn for sure, but for better or worse, I don’t know yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this! I didn't think so many of you wonderful people would like this! Some people already bookmarked it too! You guys are amazing, thank you! If you have any comments or suggestions for this chapter or the next, please leave them in the comments section! Did you guys like the flashbacks? They actually came out longer than I expected, so that's a good thing I guess. Oh, and what color should the readers soul be? I don't know what color to make it. See you guys in the next chapter!(✿◠‿◠)
> 
> -Delicatsalad


	3. Stranger Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) wakes up to eat breakfast with Toriel. Then (y/n) goes exploring around the underground with a certain skeleton as their guide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am so sorry I haven't updated this piece in a while I was just so busy I didn't get any time to write it. But now you guys get the long overdue chapter. I hope you like it!
> 
> (y/n)= your name  
> (f/c)= favorite color  
> (h/l)= hair length  
> (h/c)= hair color

Readers POV-

I sat up in my bed and stretched my arms out, only to be followed by huge yawn. Was it morning already? Groggily, I opened my eyes slightly, then snapped them wide open. This isn’t my room… Where am I? I took in my surroundings and as I did, yesterday’s memories came flooding back. Writing the note, climbing Mt Ebott, the fall, Flowey, Toriel and my plans for today. Toriel, she was probably up already making breakfast. From what I had learned just yesterday, Toriel absolutely loves cooking. 

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and grabbed my hoodie off the chair I had set it on the night before. I put it on and walked out to the kitchen where my hypothesis was confirmed. Toriel was in fact cooking breakfast for the both of us, it was pancakes. I haven’t had pancakes in the longest time and I couldn’t wait for them to be ready. 

“Morning Toriel.”

“Good Morning (y/n)! Did you sleep well,” she replied cheerily.

“Yeah I did actually. Do you need any help?” I asked.

“Thanks for the offer, but I already have everything set up,” she smiled at me then returned her gaze to the pancakes.

“Oh ok cool,” I said sitting down at the table.

Once the pancakes finished cooking Toriel brought them over and sat down to eat with me. I took one to start and put it on my plate. After taking a bit I finished off the rest of the pancake rather quickly. Toriel chuckled at the site as she paced her eating. The pancakes tasted so good that I had to get more. I hadn’t eaten this much food at once in a long time, it felt good. Another two or three pancakes later, I lost count, I helped Toriel clean the dirty dishes and told her I was going out to explore some more of the Underground. She looked sad and asked if I would be back. I told her I would and that immediately put a smile on her face. I guess not a lot of people like to stay with Toriel. 

Toriel led me to the exit of the ruins. “Be careful my child.” she said while giving me a hug.

“Don’t worry I will mom.. I mean Toriel, sorry.” I can’t believe I called her mom. I mean Toriel is like a mom to me but- My thoughts were interrupted by Toriel’s reply

“It’s fine (y/n). If it makes you happy to call me mom, then you can,” she replied calmly with a smile.

I was shocked at how calmly Toriel was taking my mistake. Normally if that happened to anyone else they would get embarrassed, but not Toriel. How many times has this happened to her? It must have been a lot if she take it like this.

Smiling back at Toriel, “Ok, Mom I’ll be careful.” Breaking away from the hug, I walked to the door and opened it. Turning around I took one more look at my Goat Mom before stepping out the door. 

I was met with a blinding light and then snow. Snow everywhere. Well I sure am glad I wore my hoodie today! Pulling my hoodie a bit tighter to bring some more heat to my body. Step after step I took in the snow made a soft crunch. I kept walking until I came across a branch in the middle of the path that I decided to jump over. The branch wasn’t that big, but it was definitely too be for me to break. I kept walking in the snow watching the snowflakes fall, until I heard a branch break. Please tell me that wasn’t….. I slowly turned around and looked at the branch I hopped over earlier. A chill went down my spine. The branch was snapped in two as if it was a twig. Well I sure don’t want to stick around to find out what broke the twig. I quickly turned around and walked faster to what looked like a bridge and a poorly made gate fence thing. Anybody could fit through the bars and get to the other side. I was almost to the gate fence thing when I heard a deep voice that made me stop in my tracks.

“H u m a n. D o n ‘ t y o u k n o w h o w t o g r e e t a n e w p a l?” the deep voice questioned.

“T u r n a r o u n d a n d s h a k e m y h a n d,” the voice continued.

Hesitantly, I turned around, closed my eyes and stuck out my hand to be shaken by the body the deep voice belonged to. Was the owner of the voice going to attack me? Were they going to hurt me? Based off of my personal experience, I was about to be hurt and there was no use running. I braced myself for the impact of a hit. When my hand was met with the other surprisingly boney hand, a small fart sound came from it. Wait… What? First off I wasn’t attacked, second why was the hand so boney, thirdly a fart sound? I opened my eyes to see a smiling skeleton that wore a blue sweatshirt, black sports pants that had a white line going down on either side, and pink slippers? That would explain why the hand was so boney. He had about an inch on me, so I could see him eye to eye socket where little white dots, which I assume are his eyes, studied my face.

“Heheh… the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. it’s always funny. i’m sans. sans the skeleton.” Sans said letting go of my hand. I stuff my hands into the pocket of my hoodie.

“I’m (y/n),” I told Sans introducing myself to him. So far Sans seems like a nice guy, but then again I have poor judgement in friends and people in general.

“(y/n). that’s a nice name... anyways you’re human right,” he asked. I nodded in reply and his eye sockets went black. I took a step back away from the suddenly creepy skeleton.

“ Y o u b e t t e r n o t b e l i k e t h e l a s t o n e, o t h e r w i s e y o u a r e g o i n g t o h a v e a b a d t i m e .” Once he finished his sentence his white eyes returned.

I most certainly did not want to have a “bad time” with anyone down here especially someone I just met. Also who was he referring to “the last one”? I looked at Sans who was staring at the ground with a rather sad expression.

“they left us all here in the underground to rot,” Sans said softly. 

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked him taking a step closer.

Sans picked his head up from staring at the ground and looked at my eyes. “hmm? yeah i’m fine.”

Sans POV-

i was most certainly not okay. the kid had left us all down here, imprisoned in hell. we had finally reached the surface after so many resets. after a couple of months i noticed a change in Frisk’s behavior, they started shutting themselves in their room. everyone tried to get them out of their room but they wouldn’t budge. i guess they were getting bored and had nothing else to do, so they reset and started murdering monsters. this was the worst genocide run yet, Frisk had killed everyone except me in record time. i had to watch Paps die again. i had to see my own brother die and turn into dust. he never did anything wrong so why did he die each time. when the kid came to face me in our fight, we fought for two days straight. each time i managed to kill them, they would just restart the battle. we continued to do this dance until they mercied me. Frisk fell to their knees crying saying “just one more reset, i’ll fix my mistakes. i promise. just kill me please so i can start again”. when they said that i nodded and summoned my bones to kill them. they played through the next run as quickly as they could. i didn’t know what for until the left us all in the underground and didn’t come back.

now another human has fallen down and all i can hope is they’re not like Frisk. in all the resets, this is the first time i’ve ever seen (y/n) down here. in all honesty, it feels good to see a different face, one that hasn’t murdered your brother. 

i felt a small tug at my soul when (y/n) asked if i was okay. why would they care about how i feel? to them i am just a strange monster they’ve never seen before. but why would my soul act this way, it’s never done this before. 

Readers POV-

Despite what he said I knew something was eating away at him but I dismissed it, Sans probably wouldn’t want to talk about it anyways. Still needing someone to guide me around the Underground, I decided to change the topic to lift the tone of the conversation.

“Hey Sans, do you think you could show me around the Underground? I would love to see what it looks like.” I asked him in hopes he would say yes.

“yeah sure. i don’t see why not, i’ve got snowthing better to do.” he replied grinning at his pun.

I smiled at the pun. “Ok thanks, where do we start? ”

Sans thought for a minute before snapping his fingers. “i know, i can show you around my home town Snowdin. it’s not that far away but i know a shortcut, wanna take it?”

My legs were sore and taking a shortcut didn’t sound like a bad idea but, I just met this guy how can I know this isn’t just some joke to follow the whoopie cushion earlier. I looked him in the eyes, or well eye sockets and asked if this was some joke or prank. Sans told me it wasn’t and held out a hand for me to take. After a few moments I took his hand and he looked over at me and smiled. 

“i’m glad you trust me (y/n). now let’s go see Snowdin.”

And with that the both of us were whisked away from the world of white into a world of black. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip onto Sans’ hand, not wanting to let go in fear of what would happen if I did. 

 

 

 

 

“hey (y/n), you can open your eyes now.”

I opened my eyes and let go of Sans hand to find a small town laid out before me. The buildings looked warm from the outside, and on cue a small gust of wind blew causing me to pull the to to my (f/c) hoodie up over my (h/l), (h/c). How did we get here so fast? Figuring it best not to ask, Sans started the tour of Snowdin. He led me around the small town talking about each building as we walked by. There was a shop, an inn, a “librarby” which is a library, and a pub called Grillby’s. We stopped in front of Grillby’s.

“you hungry?” Sans asked. Before I could answer my stomach growled and answered for me.

Sans let out a short laugh. I felt my face redden with embarrassment. “welp that answers that, come on in,” he said holding the door open for me to walk through. I thanked him and walked over to a bar stool and sat down next to Sans. I pulled my hood down off my head.

“what will it be (y/n), burger or fries?”

“Hmmm, I think I’ll take a burger.”

Sans signaled for the bartender who seemed to be made of fire, over to take over orders. After our orders were taken, Sans explained that the bartender who took our order was Grillby and he owns the place. Sans and I talked, he cracked a few puns here and there until Grillby came over our orders. I started to eat my burger, while Sans lifted the top bun off and reached for the ketchup, then quite literally poured the entire bottle on the burger. Well that’s certainly unhealthy, he just put all the ketchup in the bottle on to the burger. I swallowed my mouth full of burger and prepare my question for Sans.

“You know that’s bad for you, right?”

“ehh, i could careless about how much ketchup i eat and drink.” 

I stared at the skeleton with wide eyes. “Y-you drink it?” I squeaked.

Sans shrugged,“yeah, i like the taste of it.” 

I continued to eat my burger as Sans talked about things in the Underground. I listened to him as he began to describe the different parts of the Underground and the people there. Finishing my burger I then listen to Sans as he talked and made the occasional comment and question. Sans talked about the Waterfall, Hotlands, more about Snowdin and Asgore’s Castle. He talked about the echo flowers and how they repeat everything they hear. I pulled out my phone to check the time, it was 6:47 PM. Wow so much time has passed since I met this lazy bag of bones.

“Hey I need to get back to the ruins, can you take me there?”

“yeah, here can I see your phone too?”

I pulled out my phone and Sans pulled out his. He took mine and put his number in it, and I did the same with his. 

“there, now you can text me.” He said with a light blue color spreading across his face. I can only assume the blue is a blush, and honestly, it’s really cute. Sans handed my phone back to me and I handed his to him.

“Thanks.”

We walked out of Grillby’s and Sans held out his hand for me to take again. I grabbed his hand and held on tight as we took his “shortcut” back to the ruins door. Once the black cleared I saw the ruins door. I let go of Sans hand and turned around to face him.

“Thank you for today Sans, I’m glad I met you,” I said, a blush starting to rise on my cheeks.

“i’m glad i met you too (y/n),” Sans replied with the blue blush dusting his cheek bones. 

“See you later Sans,” I told him waving goodbye and turned to face the door to the ruins. 

“bye.” I felt a breeze air behind me and turned my head just enough to see Sans was gone. I felt a tug in my chest when Sans left.

I texted Toriel that I was back and not long after I sent the text she open the door to let me back in. Toriel brought me into a hug once I was back in the ruins. Tears fell from her eyes and she cried out telling me she thought I wouldn’t come back. I told her that was silly and hugged my Goat Mom back. Once when finished our hug Toriel brought me upstairs where a dinner was laid out on the table. I made myself a plate and sat down with Toriel to eat. As we ate I told Toriel about what had happened today, except about the tugging in my chest. She listened full heartedly, nodding and telling me to continue. After we finished eating, I took a look at the time it was 10:36 at night. With a yawn I said goodnight to my Goat Mom and headed to my room. I changed into the pajamas Toriel had laid out for me, which was a gray t-shirt and black shorts. I would just have to remember to put my hoodie back on in the morning so nobody will see my scars. Once I turned off the lights, I climbed into bed and pulled out my phone to see a text message from Sans. The little screen illuminated my face in the dark.

10:40 S- hey u wanna meet my brother paps tomorrow?

10:41 Y- You bonely already? Sure, what’s he like? :3

10:42 S- lol, nice one, well he’s a skeleton like me, very loud, energetic, but he’s also nice and sweet. and he’s really tall

10:43 Y- He sounds like a nice guy Sans, I can’t wait to meet him. See you tomorrow.

10:44 S- cool see u tomorrow then 

I shut off my phone and laid on my back. How had my life turned around this fast? My life above the surface was so horrible and bad, but my life down here so far is amazing. It seems like attempting suicide and landing down here was the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m so happy I didn’t die, my life down here so far is amazing. My life has definitely taken a turn for better. I close my eyes to get some rest for the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did you like it? Good, Bad?  
> If you have any comments or suggestions please leave them below!  
> You guys can find me on tumblr at delicate-salad  
> (✿◠‿◠)
> 
> See you guys in the next chapter!
> 
> -Delicatesalad


	4. Skele-bros Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) finally get to meet THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! 
> 
>  
> 
> (y/n)= your name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey Hey!!! I'm back!  
> I'm soooo sorry I haven't been posting recently, school has just been a pain in the back.  
> I promise I will try to post more often!  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Part 2 should be out soon!  
> Sorry this chapter was short!

After years of restless sleeping and night terrors, I finally had a peaceful night. Not once did I wake up drenched in sweat or in a panic attack from a nightmare. I had gotten a full night’s sleep and actually had a dream instead of a nightmare. In my dream Hannah and I lived a happy life where my father was nowhere to be found, and our mother took care of us. Toriel was even there, we all baked cinnamon butterscotch pies together. Sans was there too, he was cracking puns left and right as we baked the pies. It was a very happy dream, but I honestly didn’t expect to have it at all. Normally I would have a nightmare about my mother and the “accident” and what followed after. I sat up in my bed and brought my arms in front of me, looked over my scars and places the bruises had been. My breath quickened thinking about the memories. 

Putting my arms back at my side, I took in a deep in and tried to steady my breath. When that didn’t work I start muttering two phrases that I’ve been telling myself since my mother died. “I deserve to be happy. I deserve to smile.” I repeated those two simple sentences over and over again until my breathing returned to normal. The two phrases never really worked until now, and it’s a miracle they did.

I stretched my arms out refusing to look at them again and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Shuffling my feet across the floor, I grabbed a change of clothes and started changing into them. I don’t know how Toriel managed to find clothes in my size, but she did. Once I had my new jeans and t-shirt on, I went to grab my hoodie and when I did it smelt different, almost like flowers. Was it clean? I brought my hoodie to my nose and sniffed it. Yup it was definitely clean, Toriel must have washed it last night while I was sleeping. Gratefully, I put on the clean (f/c) hoodie and brushed my hair out. I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen to see I had gotten a text message.

9:47 T- Good Morning (y/n), I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there when you woke up but I needed to run some errands. I made you some eggs and toast, they are on a plate on the table for you. I hope you have a good day exploring the underground! Just remember to be careful!

9:51 Y- Thanks, I will make sure to be careful. See you later tonight!

After my reply was sent, I put my phone in my hoodie pocket. I walked out of my room and sat down to eat the breakfast Goat Mom prepared for me. The eggs and toast were delicious, but I don’t know what else I expected with Toriel’s cooking skills. Once the plate was clean of food, I brought it into the kitchen and placed it in the sink. I started to make my way to the ruins exit when my phone made a noise coming from my pocket. I took out my phone to see I had gotten a text message from Sans. Despite just meeting him yesterday, he had quickly become one of my friends if not my best friend. 

10:05 S- hey u on ur way? im waiting outside the ruins.

10:05 Y- Yeah I’m on my, see you soon.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and continued my walk to the ruins door. Once I reached the ruins door I opened them up and stepped outside into the snow. The doors shut themselves behind me once I had stepped out of the ruins. 

“heya,” Sans called out from the right side of me making me jump. I turned to see him leaning against the wall and he gave a small wave. I returned the tiny wave and said hi, then put my hands back into my pocket. Sans pushed himself off the wall and took the couple steps over to where I was. 

“so, are you ready to go meet my bro?” I nodded in response. Sans stuck out his hand for me to take so we could take a “short cut” to his house. When I took his boney hand I felt something in my chest jump. Shaking my head, I dismissed the jump, looked at Sans, and told Sans I was ready to go. However when I did a light blue glow dusted his cheekbones and he looked away from me. Huh, I wonder what that was about? I didn’t have much time to think about the blue light before the same darkness as yesterday swallowed me whole. The darkness only lasted a few seconds but during that time I tightened my grip on Sans’ hand. 

When the light came back, I let go of Sans’ hand and stuffed them into the pocket of my hoodie I noticed that we were in front of a house. The house was a light brown two storied, it had a pirates flag coming off the side of it, the roof was covered in snow and christmas lights and on the door there sat a wref. On one side of the house there were two mail boxes a completely empty one and rathered stuffed one. An igloo sat on the opposite side, I think I remember seeing one like that in Snowdin yesterday…

I cleared my throat and Sans turned his head slightly to look at me, “Soo, what’s your brothers name?”

Sans seemed to light up hearing me talk about his brother to him. “his name is Papyrus,” he paused and chuckled a thought , “although he’ll probably introduce himself as the great Papyrus.” 

I smiled, Papyrus sounds like a really nice guy from what I heard Sans say about him, I really can’t wait to meet this skeleton. Or at least I’m assuming a skeleton, because that’s what Sans is and he said it’s his brother.

Sans and I started walking to the door where he let me in his house. Not wanting to be rude I took off my shoes at the door so I wouldn’t make a mess and revealed my fuzzy socks. Wow, Sans is a lot more trusting than my ‘friends’ on the surface, and in honesty I trust him almost as much as I trust Hannah. That’s saying a lot considering I just met him yesterday… I guess he must trust me too. A smile came to my face at the thought.

“uh you can sit if you want, he might be a couple minutes late,” he gestured towards the green couch and I sat down on it. “he’s coming back from training with Unydne, Paps really wants to be apart of the royal guard.”

“That’s cool, it’s always good to have goals in life. It gives you something to strive for,” I replied.

Sans headed into what looked like the kitchen ,“ hey (y/n), do you want a hot chocolate or anything?”

“Sure a hot chocolate sounds nice!” I was happy to be offered a hot drink after just standing outside in the cold. 

After a couple of minutes passed I felt weight press into the seat next to me and I jumped off the couch and whipped my hands out of my pocket and held them up, ready to defend my self. I looked over to the couch to only to see a grinning skeleton with one cup in each hand. I placed my hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Don't do that Sans!!"

“heh i really scared out of your skin,” he snickered and handed me my mug. I snorted at the joke and sat back down but this time with my side against the back of the couch. Sans seemed pleased to get a reaction like that out of me.

“Yeah you really did. Oh and thanks for this,” I said after taking a sip from my cup.

“no problem, (y/n).”

The two of us spent the next couple of minutes in a comfortable silence while we drank our hot chocolate. Sans shifted his body so it mirrored my position I was sitting in. His eyes, uh eye lights? What ever the white dots in his eyes are called, scanned my face. 

“i don’t mean to be rude or anything but, how did you end up down here?”

I froze in my seat. Did I really want to tell him why I ended up down here? What would he think of me if I did? I do trust him though. Sensing my discomfort he quickly backpedaled.

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“...I umm…. Well it all started when my mo-” before I could say anymore I was interrupted by the door being opened with a bang, then a loud voice.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS RETURNED HOME! ….. SANS…. WHY IS THERE A HUMAN ON OUR COUCH?”

 

 

Well, I guess the Great Papyrus is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you liked this chapter. I should get the next part out soon!  
> I DO have a tumblr it's delicate-salad . Feel free to message me there if needed.  
> If you have a comment or suggestion for this chapter of the next please leave them down below. Reading feedback honestly makes my day, I love seeing what you guys think about this piece.


	5. Not a chapter but an authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK(note below)

Ok heya,

 

I know I haven't been active for a while and I sorry for that! (twoish years) Wowie 

School and mental health have just gotten in the way of everything. I figured that taking some time off and getting better both mentally and psychically. Then I kinda forgot about this...

HOWEVER! 

I just wow I read through all of my comments again and omfg thank you guys so much. Going back and reading through all of them, feeling all of the love again, it just made my day. I love all of you and I think im going to get back to writing real soon. It may be with a new fanfic or continuing old. I dunno yet but I will be back! I can promise that.

 

Anyways, if you took the time to read through this, thank you so much for being there and taking the time to read this!!

I'll be writing soon!

\- delicatesalad

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this fanfic so far. I know it seems a little dark right now but things will get better for the reader as the story progresses. Hopefully the next chapter should be out soon. If you have any suggestions or comments for this chapter please leave them down below.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Delicatesalad


End file.
